I am not sure how long this blog will last. Not sure how often I will post. Not sure if anyone will read this blog. Not sure if I will post for a while and decide to take it down. Will I post its link as a way of advertising it, I’m not sure; perhaps I will one day but then another day I will decide to delete it. Because that is the kind of inner conflict I have around Dahn Yoga. So, I am open to all of it. And I can say, this is what I need to publically post now.
This is my way of exploring truth, because I am not sure what the truth is. Not sure if Dahn Yoga is "all bad," like is it a cult? Cult is such a loaded word. When I was a Master I would say to myself, “Perhaps yes, it is a cult, but I'm okay with being apart of it because it is doing such good and feels so right for me to be in it, so if they call it a cult, so be it, then I am in a cult." But that time of being in Dahn Yoga as a Master and running a Center is over for me now. And I question myself.. is starting a blog about it okay? Because in the Dahn Yoga Organization, which is what I will refer to it as, anything negative online is called anti information and is harmful to the group. Have I become apart of the anti Dahn Yoga movement?
My goal isn’t to berate the group and say, "They are bad. I am right and good" although sometimes I go in and out of that place; my goal is to seek truth. What is truth? Is there truth unique to certain people? Or is there absolute truth?
For me, my time ended at Dahn Yoga abruptly. And I write this blog wanting to mask my identity, so even now I struggle with sharing my experience completely and so openly. I’m not afraid of the Organization, please don’t confuse the two. Upon leaving, I never got chased or harassed crazily. But yet leaving was not easy. There was a layer of internal confusion that I faced. Because I was told, being a Master in Dahn Yoga was a way towards my personal enlightenment and eternal salvation; and that information turned into fear and confusion and kept me from leaving. There were not people chaining me up physically, but perhaps mentally, emotionally and spiritually there was information holding me there. I mean some organizations have the mental, spiritual, emotional AND physical hold, luckily it wasn’t like that. Yet I wonder if that’s why it may be trickier. Because people were nice. But they were scared for you. They wanted to save your soul and being a member meant you would be saved. That’s what we believed. That’s what they still believe. So they were nice but perhaps they were actually just scared.
And by the way I didn’t wake up one day saying, “I am going to join an Organization (or cult?).” This is how my journey went, and I can see now more and more the evolution of what happened: my role, my life’s experiences, and the Organization’s role. Was I a victim? I don’t think so, not entirely. I think information was withheld from me and the life of a master was so mysterious and prestigious that I had no idea actually the amount of pressure that was on them. I didn’t realize all that was expected of them, their extremely huge and arguably unsustainable goals. ((I have so many ideas that could help them reach more people if they were open to operating differently)). But they operate with this sense of urgency. Literally they tell us, “The world is in a bad place right now. There are two outcomes, one of Light and one of Dark. We are headed towards the Dark outcome. We have until 2020 until there is no turning back. So we need to act fast! We need more members to help us share this great movement.” It’s so powerful. Scary too. But I can see truth in it. Yet, their EXTREME sense or urgency forced us to ask a lot of the members and people coming “to just check it out”. We knew we couldn’t tell everyone, “We have only until 2020.” We had to play it cool but act fast. So information was released as someone became more and more devoted. See in a Master’s heart all that we truly want is all meant for good. We want a world of light, love and peace. PLEASE know that. But there is a real darkness in Dahn. I witnessed and participated in it. For example, at our group Master-only meetings, the regional Master would say, “It doesn’t matter what they (the student) wants to do (regarding to programs/upgrading memberships). What do you want them to do?” We would spend time making elaborate plans for all of our members but ultimately it was to make more money. In our minds, to justify the HUGE emphasis on money (15K-25K+ monthly goals per center) by remembering the money goes to fund all of our goals. And keep in mind we believe our goals would help world peace. See how it is kind of confusing? Such good intentions but the methods were some times hideous, shameful, and sickening really. Sometimes soaking up as much money as we could from the same people, and sometimes these people DID NOT HAVE money, they used credit cards, loans, further indebting them. Or profiling and grooming people we knew had money, because the fact they had money. BUUUT it was for peace, so that’s how we justified it, I guess.
Despite having occasional depression, I left not because I was depressed but when I read enough “anti-information,” and general cult information. In all that I was reading (and exposing my self too) I realized so many groups promise the very thing Dahn Yoga was promising me and that was spiritual “enlightenment” and “salvation.” Most of the other groups had a sense of urgency too! I started realizing other groups were promising the things I was promised and then I started wondering, “Am I in a cult? Like seriously. How could someone in X group think they have the way when I am certain I have the way. Because I am certain Dahn Yoga IS the way. How could we both be right? And besides if they are a cult is dahn yoga a cult too?”
I was reading, in a lot of these groups, there was always one “enlightened” leader on top, promising and guiding with the importance of getting new members with a sense of urgency so all of Earth could live in this ideal sense of peace. There was a profiling and grooming system to get ideal people to become members so they could help the cause; all of the groups had what seemed to be a good cause! I was realizing, Dahn’s structure and ways fit into the definition of cult. But my Dahn Yoga identity would say, “BUT Ilchi Lee (the founder of Dahn) and Dahn Yoga IS the path to enlightenment, salvation, and world peace. WE have THE methods like yoga and meditation. We want world peace and we have something to change the world. If we have more members WE CAN DO IT. WE ARE creating it. Those other extremist groups are more detrimental. Not us. People don’t fully understand Dahn Yoga. We have good intentions. I DO WANT to spend 15 hours a day towards creating peace on Earth. Of course the organization needs lots of money, we have big goals. NO ONE is making me do anything. I want this. I don’t need a romantic partnership and kids, THAT will distract me. DAHN IS HELPING ME stay focused. I can’t fully tell my parents what I’m doing because THEY wont understand us. I’m not hiding, they just wont understand. WE are the solution. WE ARE RIGHT………Wait…..Right?”
I started to get very confused and understandably I am still exploring my confusion. This is what this blog is. An exploration of Truth. Probably mostly Dahn related, but who knows perhaps this blog will evolve into something else. I am open, more open now than I was. In Dahn Yoga it’s us vs. them. And now I am the “them” and yet I have had incredible experiences, unbelievable experiences as a student and master in Dahn Yoga so I don’t want this blog to be me vs. them. I’m not saying Dahn Yoga is all bad, BUT no more do I say it is all good. Dahn Yoga is both good and bad. They have quite a dark side that can be damaging financially, emotionally, spiritually and mentally. And yet they have such a positive side, I mean of course they do that’s why I took classes and then left my life to become a Master for years. People don’t just join bad things. IT has good. IT does. Please know that. I can see me posting all about the good. I have a lot of good from it, during it, and because of it. Dahn Yoga is good too. It really is!
And for now this is where I will begin. Thankyou